This week has been full of emotions. I really think I'm at my wits end with Nick not working. I know it's not his fault and I don't hold any of this against him. There are so many people in our nation that are facing what we are and sadly there are families that are even in a worse situation than us. I am thankful we have made it this far and we are staying as strong as we are. But I can't lie and say I haven't done my fair share of crying, because I have! I try to do it alone, when nobody is around-especially Nick. I don't want him feeling sorry for me or feeling worthless. He is the man, he feels he should be the one that is taking care of his family financially. I know this is extra hard on him too and I don't want him to feel worse than he already is. But then there are times I do cry infront of him and just need a hug from him and to hear him give me words of encouragement. I try to stay strong at work, around my kids, around my family, but there are times I just want to take the mask off and cry. SIGH...this stinks! But through it all, I know God is walking with us and he has a plan and he is teaching us lessons along the way. I know he wont give us more than we can handle (although I do feel my plate is quite full and as Donna at work said, "I don't need dessert, I'm quite full! I've had enough") I'm ready to clean off my plate and start over.
Today at work when we had some down time, I was reading from one of the blogs that I follow-The Sullivans and some words he wrote on his blog hit home and gave me some comfort. They are as follows-"When God places a burden upon you, He places His arms underneath you." --L.B. Cowman. This says it all! It is SO true! I know God is holding us and walking through this with us and will be with us until the end. He will get us through this. I know he will. I just have to trust, have faith and continue to press forward.
But Man...I can't lie...I wish money would just fall from the sky!!!
Or I guess we have a better chance at the Lottery! Honestly, I probably will never witness either one.
Onto another quite depressing topic! Sorry for being a downer tonight.....Last night, Nick and I watched the movie, Taken. Have you ever seen it? It is a GREAT movie. Very action packed, nothing that I expected. It is about girls that are kidnapped and are drugged and sold as prostitutes and a father who will do anything to get his daughter back. This really made me think and realize, this stuff really happens!!! I would honestly die if anything ever happened to my baby girl Julia (ESPECIALLY something like this) (I would die if anything happened to any of my 3 children. I just used Julia in this one because it is about this guys daughter.) I know this was a movie, but this dad did EVERYTHING to get his daughter back, things that honestly-he would be dead if it happened in real life. However, it's the fact he would sacrifice his life for his daughter, just as Christ sacrificed his life for all of us. This made me really think about how much our children really do depend on us and really do believe we would do anything and everything to protect them. Oh and I will! Do not get in my way...or Nick's, he would be quite scary! I pray that the Lord will protect my children and that they will NEVER EVER have to face anything like this. Again, I have to trust in God that he will keep them safe and that he will give me the wisdom to make the right decisions to avoid as many dangerous situations as possible. (I think he made me a very over protective mom...I don't even like the kids outside by themselves in the backyard. You just never know. It only takes a minute...) Lord please place your protective arms around Tobias, Julia and Isaiah (and any future children we may have.) Thank you for each and every one of them...they are true blessings and I do not ever want to lose any of them. Please keep them safe, always and forever!
Back to the movie....if you haven't seen it, GO RENT IT!!!
Well I wanted to blog on other things are going on with us-Julia's bedtime routine, our plans for this weekend, what we're dressing up for work, etc, but I feel I just should end the blog tonight, it really doesn't fit here. So hopefully this weekend I can get you updated on more positive things. I hope one thing you remember after reading this post is to always Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Our Father loves us, protects us, and provides for us. (Now, I myself, need to always remember and believe in those words.)
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Jeni
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